Christmas Eve’ll find me
Where the love light gleams
I’ll be home for Christmas
If only in my dreams
Lelutka has released a new mesh head called Simone. It’s a special edition head with additional expressions including this mournful one that perfectly captures some of the emotional turmoil I am feeling this Christmas season. With the passing of my aunt this summer, everyone from my parents’ generation is now gone. My sister had a tough struggle with cancer last year and came though in the end, but now has a new cancer that has gone from Stage One to Stage Four in just one month. I will confess I cry a lot lately, but I am still hopeful she will beat the odds. She is the strongest woman I know. Homesickness has manifested itself in the kitchen with traditional Christmas baking like lefse and rosettes and cooking up Cherry Soup with Dumplings, the foods that make me think of home and family.
No one loved Christmas more than my mom. Each year, my dad and my uncle would scour the woods for the perfect black spruce or balsam fir. It has to be 17 feet with no bare spots, so when I put the angel on the top it stopped just shy of the ceiling. Dad made a tree stand with wheels so we could turn it to decorate it evenly. I did the top from my bedroom balcony while they did the middle and bottom before we oh-so-carefully wheeled it across the living room so it was framed in the center by all the windows that faced onto the lake. It was a huge undertaking that was never done in a day, particularly since many of the ornaments were generational hand-me-downs and hand-made memory-laden pieces that prompted stories and remembrances of the past. There were no themed trees or single-colored trees because that store of ornaments was much more precious – a store of memories.