Author Archives: Cajsa Lilliehook

About Cajsa Lilliehook

Santino Rice's little ditty "It's only fashion" seems a perfect title for my little fashion blog as you and i know that fashion means the world to him. Co-founder of It's Only Fashion and Blogging Second Life.

Delusions Are Not For Our Amusement

It is human nature to reach out to help someone who is flailing. I am writing to suggest that sometimes we should not. Rather than name this flailing person, let’s call her Nora, after my cat. Nora allegedly abused someone’s trust. That person submitted a Virtual Secret to call her out for it. Nora reacted badly. This happened quite a while ago. Nora is still reacting badly. 

If you’re unfamiliar with Virtual Secrets, it was originally founded in hopes of soliciting the sort of confessional sharing of experiences and feelings that make Post Secrets such a heart-wrenching and heartwarming window into humanity. It didn’t work out that way. 

Second Life is extraordinarily libertarian in its social controls. In the absence of official moral regulators, mores are established by unofficial means such as gossip and shaming. This is likely the reason that Virtual Secrets became more like the back fence, where people gossip about those who transgress by copying, diverting charitable funds, or cheating on friends. No matter its original purpose, it has come to serve as the place where people draw the bounds of acceptable behavior. 

When someone is shamed on Secrets, they have a few options:

  1. Be flattered that someone has given them rent-free space in their heads. 
  2. Proclaim they have made it and surely must now be part of the FIC (Prok’s Feted Inner Circle) 
  3. Refuse it air. Ask their friends not to defend them. Let it die in the emptiness of disregard. 
  4. Defend themselves with facts. Present evidence calmly and without rancor. 

And then there is what Nora did. She rushed to explain her actions with dozens of comments, catching the attention of the people who might have scrolled past a rather ordinary secret. She began submitting secrets about other people and herself and posting hundreds of comments on Secrets week after week until she was finally banned. Similar behavior in resulted in similar repercussions. The flailing has continued for months now.

Every day is Festivus and she airs her grievances everywhere. Not just in SL groups, the community forum, her blog, Facebook, and Discord. Everywhere, even sites unrelated to SL like Disney’s forum This has gone on for months and every trouble in her life is blamed on Virtual Secrets and the expanding list of people who have now become her nemeses. By everything, that includes a leaking bathtub and being unable to sleep. There is no point in cataloging the depth and breadth of this because it is based in delusion. She now lives in an altered timeline where her mistreatment has gone on for years and years, repeatedly claiming she’s been abused for years – sometimes over a decade.

So let me tell you about delusion. It feels real. 

When my kidneys failed after a surgery I experienced renal psychosis complete with visual and auditory hallucinations. Nothing anyone told me was more persuasive than the delusions I witnessed with my own eyes. When people argued with me, it was so frustrating because I knew what they said was false. After all, I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears a far different truth. To this day, what I remember from those days are the delusions which are all that feels real. I do not remember what actually happened. As the wash of chemicals that flooded my system when my kidneys shut down were flushed away, I returned to reality and recognized the delusions for what they were, but they remain vivid visual “memories.” If that kind of delusion is what drives Nora, there is nothing we can do other than hope she finds a good doctor who will serve her well. We cannot help her. 

Some of us are bemused, some are appalled, and some are amused by her ranting. Few take her seriously, but we should. She is not just an avatar. She is a real person. She is suffering, but she is also dangerous. If this were happening in a film or movie, we would recognize the danger. We would know that a persistent obsession that includes nearly daily messages, several threatening violence, is dangerous. Do we discount the danger when it’s a woman doing it? 

Nora has threatened people’s lives, has promised to come to their home, has threatened their children, and has made foul and disgusting allegations about people and their children. She harasses people with chronic illnesses. She apologizes and repeats. All of her apologies come with a but. 

Nora is in a self-reinforcing cycle of obsession. She enters a new group and begins to rant. People react and she does not understand they are reacting to her behavior, believing those she fears directed them to ban her. Everything is the fault of the people she has given so much power in her life. Illness is not entertainment. 

 In our virtual world we watch people melt down and behave this way and the crowd laughs. “What a wack, what a crazy” we say. We laugh because she’s powerless…right? She’s just an avatar, right? In fact, the crowd incites her – mocks her rage, mocks her anguished and incoherent rants against wrongs both perceived and real.

She isn’t just an avatar. None of us are. She’s a human and she deserves the same level of respect and regard that anyone else does. This includes respecting that she may be dangerous. This includes understanding that mental illness is likely the primary driver of her behavior.  A member of your family in the middle of a psychotic break would evoke concern so you seek a solution to keep them safe and out of harm’s way. 

Why then is someone experiencing the same event online seen as a form of entertainment? Why are we not taking Nora’s threats seriously? Why do we indulge her? Why doesn’t Linden Lab lock her out of this game that is inciting her to ever more serious anger and threatening behavior? Why do people bait her? And yes, I realize this may be seen as more of the same though I hope by using my cat’s name, we take this into a less emotional direction and ask what if she were our family or our friend and not this person who has plucked our last nerve.

How about instead of trying to explain how she is the problem we just don’t respond. How about we don’t try to show how we are the special someone who cares. She doesn’t listen to anyone and none of us are that special someone who will finally reach through the layers of delusion to a well person. There is no well person inside there. Many of us see her desperation and want to help but our help makes no sense to her. All it does is convince her of how much larger the conspiracy is. It is cruel to engage. It does not make us look good. 

None of us can help Nora, we can only reinforce her delusions. None of us can get her the help she needs or disconnect her from an internet to which she is addicted and ill-served by. It would be good if family stepped in, but since they have not, it is on us to disengage completely. Refuse to respond, do not try to make her see sense, it is not possible. 

Having experienced delusions, I can tell you that people telling me I didn’t see what I saw or experience what I experienced was so frustrating and angering. It was also frightening. It made me feel alone and persecuted by liars. You are not helping Nora by telling her she is wrong and perceiving things wrong, you are just frightening her. The best way to help her is to ignore her and hope her family or her county mental health services can do right by her. We cannot. 

This opinion essay was written by Gidge and I, but Nora is my cat and I had renal psychosis, something which makes me understand Nora, I think. 

SL Is a Community

I'm Back? I Never Went Away
Ingenue’s Lisette dress comes in more colors than the rainbow. This is melon. I added Izzie’s Sheer Tights, one of the best investments ever.

I am always fascinated by how people think of and describe Second Life. Some people say it’s a game and some say a virtual form of social media. I think of it as a community center with infinite rooms for infinite communities to grow and develop. It’s like yeast, fermenting creativity and community.

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Race to Hair Fair Before It Closes September 1st!

When choosing a skin we look for something reflecting our personality, but when we select hair we want something that reflects our mood. I am confident that many SL fashionistas have as many hairstyles in their Second closet as they have clothes. For the best hairstyles I would like to suggest stylist from as they are experts .That is why Hair Fair is one of the most successful fundraising events in Second Life. 

The fourteenth annual Hair Fair 2019 runs from August 17th through September 1st and will be raising funds for “Wigs for Kids” Wigs for Kids is a relatively small organization with a very focused mission–to provide wigs for children who have lost hair due to cancer chemotherapy, alopecia, or other medical reasons. These are custom-fitted wigs made so kids can play and Iive their lives without fear of bullying and being ostracized because of illness. Hair Fair makes a significant difference in the lives of many children. 

One of the favorite elements of Hair Fair is Bandana Day when everyone is encouraged to take off their hair and wear a bandana to express their solidarity with those who lost their hair for medical reasons. Anyone and everyone was encouraged before Hair Fair to download a Bandana Day Kit and make their own bandanas. Thanks to the easy kit and instructions, even the noobiest noob could contribute their own designs to help raise money for kids. This makes Hair Fair unique in allowing anyone to participate as a creator and give with their hands, not just their wallets. 

Of course, in the end, for many it is about the hair and that there is in abundance with three sims full of stores and three cam shopping sims adjacent. You are encouraged to join the Hair Fair Demo group so you can get all the demos and try them on at home or host a demo party for you and your friends. To join the demo group, just copy-paste below into open chat in Second Life to join the FREE GROUP. Never pay to join any groups claiming to be part of Hair Fair!


To make shopping even easier, Hair Fair SL has a guide posted on their blog at

So run, don’t walk, to Hair Fair and find hair for your every mood and smile knowing that every purchase you make contributes to making a child’s life easier and fuller. 

Bandana Day kits now available – Help us help Wigs for Kids

Bandana Kit Box Poster.png

All finished bandanas must be in by July 31st 2019 – Available on Marketplace

Hair Fair is a little over a month away, starting on August 17th 2019. Each year we ask the community of Second Life to help us further by creating Bandanas that we sell during the event and round out the event with the last day being the official Bandana Day.

Each year we receive bandanas either textured variants of the bandanas we provide in our kit or unique mesh created by those that want to help support this cause. We invite anyone interested to grab the kit available and help add to the money raised through this annual event, this is the 12th Year of Bandanas and we are so moved by everyone’s eagerness to help. You do not have to own a store or be a creator to help, look at the information to see how you can participate, thank you.

Hair Fair Bandana Kit info HERE

Hair Fair 2019 Banner

Not Your Grandma’s Candystriper

"Summertime is always the best of what might be."
When I see pink and white stripes, I always think of the candystriper volunteers at the local hospital. This is, of course, not anything like a candystriper would wear, not if there was any hope of staying on the job. The blouse and heels were released at the June Uber event. 
"Summertime is always the best of what might be."
The blouse is from Baiastice and comes with the bikini bra and panties and belt that can all be changed by the HUD. 
"Summertime is always the best of what might be."
I chose “One Way or Another” hair from Exile, using the built-in Lelutka hairbase. One of the fun things to do with Exile hair is to look up the song the hair is named for just to see how well it fits. 
"Summertime is always the best of what might be."
These fabulous sandals from Baiastice can be customized with the HUD. The braided vamp could be sheer or opaque and all sorts of colors or patterns. The straps and heels can also be customized. 

Clothing: Baiastice_Luna Shirt Dress-All Colors-Maitreya
Shoes: Baiastice_Braided High Sandals-All Colors-Maitreya
Skin: Glam Affair ( Lelutka Heads ) Kaia Applier [ America ]
Hair: Exile::One Way or Another(L)
Poses: aDorkable
Appliers: Glam Affair ( Lelutka Heads ) Kaia Applier [ America ]
Mesh Attachments:
.LeLutka.Eyes.Spencer 3.3
.LeLutka.Head.Spencer 3.3(static ears)
Maitreya Mesh Body – Bento Hand R V4.1
Maitreya Mesh Body – Feet V4.1
Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
HUDS: .LeLutka.HUD.Spencer 3.3
Maitreya Mesh Body – HUD V4.1
Slink Ankle Lock

Revisiting Old Friends

So lovely was the loneliness of a wild lake.
NYU Crossover Slim Tee and Mid Lace Floral Skirt

After my long absence, it has been fun to sort through clothes from old favorites. NYU has always been a favorite of mine. NyuNyu Kimono designs for us residents who don’t want to wear clubwear all the time. She has two stores. This is the older one. This is the newer one. The thing is, there are great clothes at both of them. 

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Jeez Louise

Swim Harder

When I put on the gorgeous bikini from Zaara, I immediately wanted to take pictures on the beach.  I popped on over to The Trace Too and was immediately reminded of one of the reasons I stopped logging into Second Life. It seems to me once I put on my mesh body, hands, feet, head, hair, clothing, accessories, and a pose hud, I could not move. I took one picture and then spent about 2 hours trying to reposition the camera. I gave up and went back to my prim in the sky. 

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Long Time, No Blog

Long Time, No Blog

Hello, world! That’s what the blank sample post always starts with in WordPress and it seems appropriate as it has been a long time since I last blogged. Fifteen months! I won’t bore you with all the details, but I have been having some health issues that just made SL seem overwhelming.  

On to more interesting topics like this gorgeous Poker Suit from Baiastice. I don’t know why it’s called Poker Suit, except maybe the décolletage will distract other players enough to help you win. I can see that happening. The top is tailored with a pagoda shoulder, a fitted waist, and a styling HUD that allows you to wear it cropped or with a peplum. You can also wear it with the bra showing or hidden and choose from a range of colors. The pencil skirt length can also be shortened with the HUD. There are a range of solid and prints. I chose this lovely lace brocade. With the print, I wanted a simple, classic shoe and there’s nothing more classic than Slink’s Siren stilettos

Long Time, No Blog
The beautiful pagoda shoulders add architectural interest to the Poker Suit jacket.

The jewelry is from Kunglers. I am wearing the Lola necklace and Vera earrings. Both come with a HUD scripted to allow changes to the metal and stones. The necklace also allows us to change the color of the cords. The nails are from AlaskaMetro, the Kimono manicure suiting the laciness of the suit. 

Long Time, No Blog
I love Dura’s short hair. 

Finally, Glam Affair’s Stella adds the final touches. 


  • Clothing: Baiastice_Poker Suit-All Colors-Maitreya
  • Shoes: Slink Siren Stilettos Black
  • Jewelry: KUNGLERS – Lola necklace Vera Earrings
  • Skin: Glam Affair Stella America
  • Hair: *Dura-Girl*61 (Dark Red)
  • Poses: oOo Studio
  • Appliers:
    • Glam Affair ( Lelutka Heads ) Stella Applier [ America ]
    • alaskametro<3 “Kimono” nail art – Slink HUD
  • Mesh Attachments: 
    • LeLutka.Eyes.Spencer 3.3
    • .LeLutka.Head.Spencer 3.3(static ears)
    • .LeLutka.HUD.Spencer 3.0
    • LeLutka.Teeth.P_4
    • Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1
    • Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet Deluxe V1.2.5
    • Slink Hands – Dynamic – Female L (anims) V1.1
  • HUDS:
    • AnyPose Expression HUD v1.0 – Wear Me
    • Slink Ankle Lock

Hair Fair Designer Cruella Pennell of Adoness

Cruella Pennell Self Portrait

Cruella Pennell Self Portrait

What’s your favorite thing about Hair Fair?

The fact that I am able to help children with my creativity.

What drew you to creating hair, arguably one of the most difficult challenges for creators?

I always had a fascination for different, edgy hairstyles in real life so I decided to make those in SL. It was a challenge to learn the process but in the end, it was worth it. Now I get to share my taste with others and get to see how others wear my hair.

Adoness Brand


How would you describe your brand’s aesthetic or niche?

Adoness niche is punk/alternative/rock hair, mostly with shaved sides. The brand aesthetic – A dark fantasy world with endless starry nights. Peace, serenity, and cuteness are how you could describe my vision of the brand.

What comic/cartoon character would shop at your store? Veronica, Betty, Olive Oyl, Miss Piggy, Storm?

Kermit the Frog, I’m sure.

What inspired the styles you created for Hair Fair?

I picked up inspiration from requests I receive from my customers. My friend requested straight fringe styles. Beanie hairstyle which was released at Hair Fair was named after her.

Do you have a funny hair story to share?

One happened recently. It was a request from my customer. It was dark but I find it incredibly funny, “Some of my friends and I have been hunting down a hair we saw on Marketplace and it led me to you.  Will the Ares hair be put up for sale?   We are willing to give up Lindens,  our first born and do sacrificial slaughters. Other forms of payment, death and mutilation will be considered.”

Which hair from your collection is closest to your real life hair?


 The Odin hairstyle was created according to my own hair at the time.


Where do I find more about Adoness? 


Hair Fair Designer Nodoka Vella of {amiable}

The Mesh Project [free].

Photo by Nodoka Vella

For Hair Fair this year, I will be interviewing willing victims (designers) about their participation in Hair Fair and their love of hair. Nodoka Vella is the creator for {Amiable} and has a booth at Hair Fair with adorable kawaii styles. 

What’s your favorite thing about Hair Fair?

The most favorite thing that I think is we can see so many beautiful hairs at the same place and also same time each year from all over the world in SL. We can enjoy the gift and also amazing hair shopping experience. I am always inspired by other’s creations and respect the other designers.

{amiable} HAIR FAIR 2018 GIFT HAIR.

Photo Credit: Nodoka Vella

What drew you to creating hair, arguably one of the most difficult challenges for creators?

Recently the hairs in SL are really high quality, I need to brush up my skills and also work harder and harder every year. The hairs are really beautiful and have more details, so I need to spend time to make each hair and also think about unique design of hairs for my idea.

How would you describe your brand’s aesthetic or niche?

There are so many cool and amazing hair shops in SL. I try to make unique Japanese hair styles and also want to introduce “JAPANESE KAWAII” fashions for customers in SL, so I always give the nice opportunity to enjoy shopping with cheap price. I want people in SL to get more choice to shop unique items. I hope you guys enjoy SL more and more<3

What comic/cartoon character would shop at your store? Veronica, Betty, Olive Oyl, Miss Piggy, Storm?

Sailor Moon

{amiable} HAIR FAIR 2018.

{amiable} hair for Hair Fair Photo Credit: Nodoka Vella

What inspired the styles you created for Hair Fair?

Japanese culture KAWAII and also Lolita fashion.

What style from your collection looks most like your real life hair?

What hair from your collection looks most like your real life hair?

What hair from your collection looks most like your real life hair? Photo Credit: Nodoka Vella


Do you have a funny hair story to share?

When I was a child, I decided to cut my own bangs—once! I didn’t know what I was doing. OMG!!! My bangs stood straight up. LOL. I was really disappointed. My hair looked so ugly!!!!!! I did not try that again.

Can you give me links to your store, Flickr, blog