When I first joined Second Life and was rescued by Gidge from the vicious stairs that had me trapped and began working with her (she was my supervisor) I was welcomed into this crazy “family” of folks at Vicious/Hypnoz, a club and shopping mall she managed. I started out cleaning prim trash and translating announcements into Spanish and graduated into helping plan and publicize events. It was a big family that included Miffyhoi Rosca. Miffy introduced me to pillow fighting and crazy gestures. I introduced her to horseback riding and surfing.
And then she decided she was going to make clothing and launched the Zenith brand. I can remember sitting with our mutual friend (and Gidge’s adopted daughter) Hatchy and one of Hatchy’s loves on a giant pig while watching Miffy spend hours and hours on her first creation – a candy belt and arm bands. Well, that was 2007 and her style has changed over the years as she has grown from college student to adulthood but her meticulous attention to detail and her love of fashion remains the same. My appreciation of her fashion has grown over the years. Candy belts were never my thing, perhaps being diabetic played a role in that, but how can I resist a lovely flowing floral frock like this?
The other day, Lourdes Denimore, used a phrase that made me laugh when she expressed an absolute truth that anyone who blogs whether in their first, second or surreal life will understand. I have to paraphrase since I forget the exact words, “No matter what you do, the Blogger Oversight Committee will judge you, so do what you want.” It’s good advice since anyone trying to adjust to all the contradictory criticisms lobbed at bloggers in general will end up chasing their tails. One of the hardest pair of complaints to reconcile is how those of us who blog address our friendships with designers. On the one hand, there are those who think that saying we’re friends is bragging and on the other, there are those who think if we don’t say we’re friends we are failing to disclose a conflict of interest. Frankly, I can understand where both sides are coming from.
Fashion designers and bloggers will become friends. They have a natural affinity and cluster of interest by virtue of their interest in fashion. That is going to land them at the same events and get them talking about similar things. It’s a natural and organic meeting of mutual interest and propinquity.
I think we should do what feels right – and for me, that’s bragging about my friends. I have great friends in Second Life and in real life and will happily brag about them right, left and center. I put my life into the hands of my best friend when I went in for surgery, giving her medical power of attorney and she shouldered that burden during some very grim days. Gidge and my many friends on plurk raised me out of the slough of despond when I was ready to give up in December. When my illness forced me to give up my land and home in SL, friends gave me a home and a studio space. When my illness forced me to move to a less expensive apartment in real life, my friends packed me up and moved me since I could not even lift my cat. My friends organized a fundraising tribute to Cliff when he died last month – and made his life meaningful to more than just me. I am not going to shy away from who my friends are or why I love them just because some people think it’s bragging. It is bragging. They are wonderful and I am proud of them and if I want to brag about how great my friends are, I will. Neener, neener, neener!
So – if you are a blogger, here’s my advice. If you want to talk about your friends, talk about them. If you don’t, then don’t. Doing what feels right to you is the only way to feel good about what you do. Sure, criticism can sting, but there’s nothing quite as sharp as the sting of failing yourself. There’s literally hundreds of Second Life fashion blogs – more than enough for blog readers to find the ones that meet their needs. There’s wordy ones like this. There’s just the facts blogs with pictures and credits and no text. There’s blogs that disclose review copies and blogs that don’t. There’s blogs that talk about friends and blogs that don’t. There’s blogs with one picture posts and blogs with galleries of photos. Readers can find what they want so there’s no reason to change to suit them.
And readers and critics, here’s my advice for you. Focus your attention on what you like. Make positive comments that encourage those bloggers who please you – so they know they are appreciated. Sometimes we all ask ourselves if our posts are like a tree falling in an empty forest. Positive reinforcement is stronger than negative, so applaud what you like and you will see more of it. If you feel you must criticize, sandwich your criticism with positivity. Otherwise, you merely make people defensive and less likely to listen to you. If you can’t think of something positive to say, then you are reading the wrong blog and should just ignore it and move on. That is good advice in real life as well as second life.
- Poses: Reel Expressions
- Skin: Baiastice Nina
- Eyes: Poetic Colors
- Lashes: Lelutka
- Hair: Lelutka Group Gift
- Nails: PXL Creations
- Dress: Zenith Leona
- Shoes: Lelutka K.I.A.
- Jewelry: Mood Drops of Rain Earrings