Bragging Rights


The Leona dress from Zenith - Each color set comes in sold and print versions. The dress is by Miffyhoi Rosca - who is among the first dozen friends I made when I joined Second Life four years ago. PS. I hate the new iteration of the SL viewer. I have anti-aliasing on and all my settings are right I still get some raggedy edges.

The Vicious Family

When I first joined Second Life and was rescued by Gidge from the vicious stairs that had me trapped and began working with her (she was my supervisor) I was welcomed into this crazy “family” of folks at Vicious/Hypnoz, a club and shopping mall she managed. I started out cleaning prim trash and translating announcements into Spanish and graduated into helping plan and publicize events. It was a big family that included Miffyhoi Rosca. Miffy introduced me to pillow fighting and crazy gestures. I introduced her to horseback riding and surfing.

Miffy's first creation - a belt and armband

And then she decided she was going to make clothing and launched the Zenith brand. I can remember sitting with our mutual friend (and Gidge’s adopted daughter) Hatchy and one of Hatchy’s loves on a giant pig while watching Miffy spend hours and hours on her first creation – a candy belt and arm bands.  Well, that was 2007 and her style has changed over the years as she has grown from college student to adulthood but her meticulous attention to detail and her love of fashion remains the same. My appreciation of her fashion has grown over the years. Candy belts were never my thing, perhaps being diabetic played a role in that, but how can I resist a lovely flowing floral frock like this?


I love the K.I.A. shoes from Lelutka. I do wonder what abbreviation it is for, since when I see, K.I.A. I think of the military meaning. Are these literally killer shoes? I am slightly acquainted with some of the designers at Lelutka, though by no means could I ever claim a friendship. I think I spoke directly to Minnu Palen once, to inform her that the Search Teleport link landed me in the window of the store - I sent her a pic of me posing like a store mannequin.

The other day, Lourdes Denimore, used a phrase that made me laugh when she expressed an absolute truth that anyone who blogs whether in their first, second or surreal life will understand. I have to paraphrase since I forget the exact words, “No matter what you do, the Blogger Oversight Committee will judge you, so do what you want.” It’s good advice since anyone trying to adjust to all the contradictory criticisms lobbed at bloggers in general will end up chasing their tails. One of the hardest pair of complaints to reconcile is how those of us who blog address our friendships with designers. On the one hand, there are those who think that saying we’re friends is bragging and on the other, there are those who think if we don’t say we’re friends we are failing to disclose a conflict of interest. Frankly, I can understand where both sides are coming from.

Fashion designers and bloggers will become friends. They have a natural affinity and cluster of interest by virtue of their interest in fashion. That is going to land them at the same events and get them talking about similar things. It’s a natural and organic meeting of mutual interest and propinquity.

I think we should do what feels right – and for me, that’s bragging about my friends. I have great friends in Second Life and in real life and will happily brag about them right, left and center. I put my life into the hands of my best friend when I went in for surgery, giving her medical power of attorney and she shouldered that burden during some very grim days. Gidge and my many friends on plurk raised me out of the slough of despond when I was ready to give up in December. When my illness forced me to give up my land and home in SL, friends gave me a home and a studio space. When my illness forced me to move to a less expensive apartment in real life, my friends packed me up and moved me since I could not even lift my cat. My friends organized a fundraising tribute to Cliff when he died last month – and made his life meaningful to more than just me. I am not going to shy away from who my friends are or why I love them just because some people think it’s bragging. It is bragging. They are wonderful and I am proud of them and if I want to brag about how great my friends are, I will. Neener, neener, neener!


The scarf is from BoHo HoBo - an incredibly inexpensive store with fabulous prints and exciting clothes. The owner is a complete and utter stranger to me and yet I blog. Go figure.

So – if you are a blogger, here’s my advice. If you want to talk about your friends, talk about them. If you don’t, then don’t. Doing what feels right to you is the only way to feel good about what you do. Sure, criticism can sting, but there’s nothing quite as sharp as the sting of failing yourself. There’s literally hundreds of Second Life fashion blogs – more than enough for blog readers to find the ones that meet their needs. There’s wordy ones like this. There’s just the facts blogs with pictures and credits and no text. There’s blogs that disclose review copies and blogs that don’t. There’s blogs that talk about friends and blogs that don’t. There’s blogs with one picture posts and blogs with galleries of photos. Readers can find what they want so there’s no reason to change to suit them.


I bet you all recognize the Group Gift hat/hair combo from Lelutka. The skin is from Baiastice and the earrings are from Mood. Guess what, both Sissy and Jori are friends. Those eyes are from Poetic Colors, created by a total stranger.

And readers and critics, here’s my advice for you. Focus your attention on what you like. Make positive comments that encourage those bloggers who please you – so they know they are appreciated. Sometimes we all ask ourselves if our posts are like a tree falling in an empty forest. Positive reinforcement is stronger than negative, so applaud what you like and you will see more of it. If you feel you must criticize, sandwich your criticism with positivity. Otherwise, you merely make people defensive and less likely to listen to you. If you can’t think of something positive to say, then you are reading the wrong blog and should just ignore it and move on. That is good advice in real life as well as second life.

***STYLE NOTES******

  • Poses: Reel Expressions
  • Skin: Baiastice Nina
  • Eyes: Poetic Colors
  • Lashes: Lelutka
  • Hair: Lelutka Group Gift
  • Nails: PXL Creations
  • Dress: Zenith Leona
  • Shoes: Lelutka K.I.A.
  • Jewelry: Mood Drops of Rain Earrings

7 thoughts on “Bragging Rights

  1. galacaproni

    Love this post. I am one of the non-wordy types… i blog what i like to wear whether i buy it or its a review copy. So when someone see’s me in something in the blog, they will most likely see me in it out and about in SL. HUGS Cajsa, YOU make the world a better place by being here.

  2. darkleyaeon

    I completely agree, I’ve met some very cool people in SL, and I brag because I want the world to know about them too

  3. Cajsa Lilliehook Post author

    Boyo is a very bossy friend even with all the hair-flipping! As to Gala, I am so glad you joined us! You make this blog a better place! And yes, Darkley, that is exactly how I feel!! As to Lourdes, truer words – everything is perception and perception is influenced by our personal experiences and backgrounds. People who have been burned by posts that tout something they end up disliking after they get it themselves, may be more wary of possible conflicts of interest than folks who have not. Folks who have blogged for a long time may have more understanding of how organically friendships in Second Life develop.

  4. Sasy Scarborough

    I have always talked about people I know by name, if they are designers, other bloggers or just someone I met that day. I also talk about people I haven’t met, but it is funny because I only ever worried long ago when I was talking about such and such designer sending me something while on a posestand as though they knew I needed those things…then It occured to me that people may misconstrue the intent of my yacking, and also that if the said designer didn’t send to others, that that may cause ill will – unfortunatly that I think is the worst part of a lot of the negativity.

    Your post is great, made me nervous seeing as today as usual I went on and on about people I know, but then that is a common thing too I expect, everyone wondering if it is them that fingers are being pointed at.

    Friends in SL are the most important part of SL, and how we meet people and the memories of those meetings are priceless. I remember you tping me in to Zenith once upon a time, I remember Gidge and her frantic need for something from DD. I remember the day I met Minnu and she had come to my work to buy a gown, and later that week I sold Thora a leather jacket. Not all relationships in SL between bloggers and other bloggers or bloggers and designers are even how you would expect, because both are just every day people.

    The one thing I do wish is that there were more face to face meets, I have known some people for years, talked to them a hundred if not more times, and never met pixel to pixel. That is something lacking in SL, we don’t get out anymore.

    Anyway, took up enough of your blog space…hugs always love what you and Gidge do ♥

  5. Cajsa Lilliehook Post author

    I think talking about friends is great and my post was motivated by own nervous expectation of being called out for bragging if I ever mentioned sitting on a giant pig while Miffy worked, but the many hours of sitting on a pig are a fun and balued memory of my SL that I refuse to cut out for fear of someone’s judgment. I agree on the face to face thing. I “know” so many people I have never met face to face. And it’s always been fun meeting people for the first time.

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