One of my favorite lines from any book is by Margaret Atwood. “I want all my hurts to be intentional.”

It’s a personal mantra. It’s two sided to me. It means I don’t want to unintentionally cause harm or sadness. Being a human person means you do in fact do that sometimes. Through your actions or decisions you might hurt another person, even someone you care about. The best you can do in that situation is apologize. You can’t always fix it, some times you can’t go back – or going back isn’t where fate is taking you. But you can be honest, and try to move forward with good intentions even if you can’t remove that thing that hurts.

Intentional hurts though are something reserved for people I am truly at odds with. It’s hard to sit here and think of an actual instance, but I’d venture that when under attack I’m not against returning fire – and returning fire in a harsh fashion. I think that’s fair too. It’d be more adult to walk away, refuse to engage. Sometimes I can be that person. But sometimes, just sometimes if I respond I know it will be with malice and spite.  Continue reading →