Sometimes what’s most liberating is surprising, isn’t it? Something you don’t expect to free you from something stressful suddenly does and BOOM – you realize you’re OK. Life is good when that happens.
I had that happen to me years ago, I lost a so called friend. I thought it was a pretty good girlfriend of mine, we talked every day and without realizing it thought I spent a lot of time defending her. “Oh people don’t know her like I do, she’s really sweet and funny.” She was one of those people who uses truth to be hurtful – and uses lies as though they were truth. Having used truth so much and so blatantly, her lies were always believed.
I didn’t realize they were lies at the time.
There are two stages, in my experience, to losing someone that you really need to lose. The first one is a gut punch. You grieve. If you’re me you might cry. You feel bewildered and betrayed and foolish. It’s a hurtful thing to realize someone doesn’t know you, respect you, or care about you with the same level of investment you feel for them when you thought it was mutual.
The next step though, is relief. Losing that albatross of a person is like wiping your eyes after a good cry – you see the world again. You realize that someone sees you negatively, as they see everyone in their own way. You realize all the excuses you’ve made and how it caused others to perceive you.
It’s at this point that I can hold conferences on my advice. I’m an expert at this one and I think my guidelines hold true in both lives. I can sum it up and not give you a conference fee though.
“Just walk away.”
Public showdowns, telling someone off, any of that isn’t productive. I might support it if I felt like you could cause that person to change their ways but people change because of themselves not because of others. Nope, you aren’t going to make them stop being who they are – so don’t try. Take a deep breath, feel the weight of your life without that albatross around your neck and realize how lighter you are. Mentally wish the person well, and get on with your life.
I personally do not believe in revenge. But if I were going to recommend a form of revenge against those who ever made you cry, I’d suggest that you simply live fully and well. Don’t do it to SPITE them but to have joy in your life.
I’m not a constantly positive ray of sunshine. But I am happy, and people who don’t see that in me well – those people don’t see me at all.
Now, I’m having coffee, cheese, and cake for breakfast. Perfect.
This was your morning therapy session. Have a beautiful Friday girls!
Gidge Is Wearing:
Head: .LeLutka.Mesh Head-ARIA v1.1
Makeup: Glam Affair for Lelutka Mesh Head
Hair: LeLutka Rogue Bun
Eyes: Mayfly – Luminous – Mesh Eye (London Fog, w1) L
Mayfly – Luminous – Mesh Eye (London Fog, w1) R
Feet: Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet High Left V2.1
Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet High Right V2.1
Hands: Slink Avatar Enhancement Hands V2.1 – L – Elegant
Slink Avatar Enhancement Hands V2.1 – R – Elegant
Manicure: FLAIR
Body: Slink Physique Mesh Body V2.3.1
Slink Physique Utilities (alpha and layers) HUD V2.0 LARGE
Yukata: Tentacio & antielle. Rabbit in the Moon Lolita Yukata Sweet l THE ARCADE JUNE 2015
Makeup Clutter: Second Spaces for THE ARCADE June 2015
Pink Coffee Set: PIZZA for THE ARCADE June 2015
Shower: Cheeky Pea
This was something I needed to read today. It’s not quite the same in my case but this really rang home. It’s a hurtful thing to realize someone doesn’t know you, respect you, or care about you with the same level of investment you feel for them when you thought it was mutual. I took the first step but now I’m grieving and will for a long time.