Cooking for One

I just stick my hand right in, yes I do.

My house is finally coming together with the requisite Gidginess that is required of any place I call home. The ocean air really makes me feel like I’m home again, and I’m finally figuring out what things are going to be part of my 2020 SLife.

Even as the evening cools off, I love these big windows letting in the fresh air. Warm soup, warm tea, perfect evening.

Life in Bellisseria is quiet and lovely. Wish you were here.

Gidge is hanging out in:

Skin: Glam Affair

Tank: :::Sn@tch Mindy Ribbed Bodysuit Top (Red-U):::

Ring: (Yummy) Diamond Solitaire Ring – Gold – Slink

Head: .LeLutka.Head.Greer 3.4

Top: .miss chelsea. Hali Sweater HG Garbage

Hair: Exile:: Kat (L)

Body: Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Pants: [HG]The Secret Store – Lois Fitted Pants – Black Marble

Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape

I Own This Dress

Ever get that feeling of Deja Vu and you’re not sure why? I picked up this dress for free at an event because hey, free dresses are good (sometimes). I was tickled that it wasn’t fug when I got dressed for SL Blogger work and decided it would be my styling inspiration for the day.

As I stood there doing my hair and deciding on jewelry I had this nagging feeling and I wondered, hadn’t I see this before.

I definitely already owned this dress.

So, there are some things I’ve decided and these are them.

  1. I definitely owned this dress or a dress that is EERILY similar.
  2. This means the person I originally bought this from, and the person who put it out as a gift purchased a template.
  3. The person I originally made this dress might have later released it as a template.

What do I think about these things?

I think I don’t fucking care.

Here’s the thing, free gifts are one of those things that are either amazing or garbage. They’re free so you can’t really complain but none of us need new “freebie” chokers if someone could please take note of that. You wanna drop some sexytimes scripts in one and make it free you might gain kudos from a certain crowd but mostly man, nobody wants that your freebie choker.

Templates don’t burn my butter like they do some people. I’m not mad. Seriously. I’m not too good to wear a template so have at it. If I like it I’m not gonna be salty with you about what you’ve released unless it’s ugly or stupid.

Yes, I’m the one who decides if it’s stupid.

With that being said, I also want to say that some templates are garbage. Please check them out a bit before you drop them out for sale or for free.

With all of THAT being said, I’m actually really delighted with this dress. It’s very cute and sassy. I liked it the first time, I like it this time. Well done both of you who picked out this one or whatever it is that happened.

I didn’t go looking t see where I got it originally. I don’t care. I’m at peace.

Now, I need to finish my house.

Gidge is playing it again in:

Skin: Glam Affair

Ring: (Yummy) Diamond Solitaire Ring – Gold – Slink

Head:.LeLutka.Head.Greer 3.4

Shoes: fame femme: Lina heels – SLink – Red

Necklace: LaGyo_Metis necklace Gold

Dress: Seniha. Kristy Dress 2 // Hourglas

Body: Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Hair: [LCKY] Poppy

Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape

Delusions Are Not For Our Amusement

It is human nature to reach out to help someone who is flailing. I am writing to suggest that sometimes we should not. Rather than name this flailing person, let’s call her Nora, after my cat. Nora allegedly abused someone’s trust. That person submitted a Virtual Secret to call her out for it. Nora reacted badly. This happened quite a while ago. Nora is still reacting badly. 

If you’re unfamiliar with Virtual Secrets, it was originally founded in hopes of soliciting the sort of confessional sharing of experiences and feelings that make Post Secrets such a heart-wrenching and heartwarming window into humanity. It didn’t work out that way. 

Second Life is extraordinarily libertarian in its social controls. In the absence of official moral regulators, mores are established by unofficial means such as gossip and shaming. This is likely the reason that Virtual Secrets became more like the back fence, where people gossip about those who transgress by copying, diverting charitable funds, or cheating on friends. No matter its original purpose, it has come to serve as the place where people draw the bounds of acceptable behavior. 

When someone is shamed on Secrets, they have a few options:

  1. Be flattered that someone has given them rent-free space in their heads. 
  2. Proclaim they have made it and surely must now be part of the FIC (Prok’s Feted Inner Circle) 
  3. Refuse it air. Ask their friends not to defend them. Let it die in the emptiness of disregard. 
  4. Defend themselves with facts. Present evidence calmly and without rancor. 

And then there is what Nora did. She rushed to explain her actions with dozens of comments, catching the attention of the people who might have scrolled past a rather ordinary secret. She began submitting secrets about other people and herself and posting hundreds of comments on Secrets week after week until she was finally banned. Similar behavior in resulted in similar repercussions. The flailing has continued for months now.

Every day is Festivus and she airs her grievances everywhere. Not just in SL groups, the community forum, her blog, Facebook, and Discord. Everywhere, even sites unrelated to SL like Disney’s forum This has gone on for months and every trouble in her life is blamed on Virtual Secrets and the expanding list of people who have now become her nemeses. By everything, that includes a leaking bathtub and being unable to sleep. There is no point in cataloging the depth and breadth of this because it is based in delusion. She now lives in an altered timeline where her mistreatment has gone on for years and years, repeatedly claiming she’s been abused for years – sometimes over a decade.

So let me tell you about delusion. It feels real. 

When my kidneys failed after a surgery I experienced renal psychosis complete with visual and auditory hallucinations. Nothing anyone told me was more persuasive than the delusions I witnessed with my own eyes. When people argued with me, it was so frustrating because I knew what they said was false. After all, I saw with my own eyes and heard with my own ears a far different truth. To this day, what I remember from those days are the delusions which are all that feels real. I do not remember what actually happened. As the wash of chemicals that flooded my system when my kidneys shut down were flushed away, I returned to reality and recognized the delusions for what they were, but they remain vivid visual “memories.” If that kind of delusion is what drives Nora, there is nothing we can do other than hope she finds a good doctor who will serve her well. We cannot help her. 

Some of us are bemused, some are appalled, and some are amused by her ranting. Few take her seriously, but we should. She is not just an avatar. She is a real person. She is suffering, but she is also dangerous. If this were happening in a film or movie, we would recognize the danger. We would know that a persistent obsession that includes nearly daily messages, several threatening violence, is dangerous. Do we discount the danger when it’s a woman doing it? 

Nora has threatened people’s lives, has promised to come to their home, has threatened their children, and has made foul and disgusting allegations about people and their children. She harasses people with chronic illnesses. She apologizes and repeats. All of her apologies come with a but. 

Nora is in a self-reinforcing cycle of obsession. She enters a new group and begins to rant. People react and she does not understand they are reacting to her behavior, believing those she fears directed them to ban her. Everything is the fault of the people she has given so much power in her life. Illness is not entertainment. 

 In our virtual world we watch people melt down and behave this way and the crowd laughs. “What a wack, what a crazy” we say. We laugh because she’s powerless…right? She’s just an avatar, right? In fact, the crowd incites her – mocks her rage, mocks her anguished and incoherent rants against wrongs both perceived and real.

She isn’t just an avatar. None of us are. She’s a human and she deserves the same level of respect and regard that anyone else does. This includes respecting that she may be dangerous. This includes understanding that mental illness is likely the primary driver of her behavior.  A member of your family in the middle of a psychotic break would evoke concern so you seek a solution to keep them safe and out of harm’s way. 

Why then is someone experiencing the same event online seen as a form of entertainment? Why are we not taking Nora’s threats seriously? Why do we indulge her? Why doesn’t Linden Lab lock her out of this game that is inciting her to ever more serious anger and threatening behavior? Why do people bait her? And yes, I realize this may be seen as more of the same though I hope by using my cat’s name, we take this into a less emotional direction and ask what if she were our family or our friend and not this person who has plucked our last nerve.

How about instead of trying to explain how she is the problem we just don’t respond. How about we don’t try to show how we are the special someone who cares. She doesn’t listen to anyone and none of us are that special someone who will finally reach through the layers of delusion to a well person. There is no well person inside there. Many of us see her desperation and want to help but our help makes no sense to her. All it does is convince her of how much larger the conspiracy is. It is cruel to engage. It does not make us look good. 

None of us can help Nora, we can only reinforce her delusions. None of us can get her the help she needs or disconnect her from an internet to which she is addicted and ill-served by. It would be good if family stepped in, but since they have not, it is on us to disengage completely. Refuse to respond, do not try to make her see sense, it is not possible. 

Having experienced delusions, I can tell you that people telling me I didn’t see what I saw or experience what I experienced was so frustrating and angering. It was also frightening. It made me feel alone and persecuted by liars. You are not helping Nora by telling her she is wrong and perceiving things wrong, you are just frightening her. The best way to help her is to ignore her and hope her family or her county mental health services can do right by her. We cannot. 

This opinion essay was written by Gidge and I, but Nora is my cat and I had renal psychosis, something which makes me understand Nora, I think. 

Midweek Work

I chose the smaller bedroom for my own sleeping quarters in this big old house. It’s got the best views of the sea and I’ll use the bigger room for a giant closet/dressing room.

I’m off to get a bit of work done today, but I can’t wait to get home and return to decorating my new house.

It’s a Thursday but it’s a Monday but I don’t even care.

Happy whatever day it is everyone!

Gidge is waking up in: 

Ring: (Yummy) Diamond Solitaire Ring – Gold – Slink

Head:.LeLutka.Head.Greer 3.4

Lingerie:CLOE.Farrah Diamond

Hair: Exile:: Alibi (BENTO)

Body:Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape GIDGE Edit  2019

Skin: -Glam Affair – Greer – Asia

New Year New House

I had a great idea for my solo New Year’s Adventure. I was going to go hop on the train at Red Hook and take pics of people’s lovely Victorians and just enjoy this lovely area. I thought it was an amazing plan. Then I stood at the train station and no train came, and I couldn’t find a button to push to request the train. I was probably doing something wrong but I could NOT figure out WHAT.

I ended up giving up and getting in my car and going for a drive.

It was a great time for an early morning drive, but eventually I wound up at the end of Bellisseria and found the beach. Of course some how these lucky sods had these AMAZING beach views – just stunning. I parked and walked along the beach while the sun continued it’s dance upward. There is definitely something to be said for these Victorians on the beach.

I decided to drown my sorrows in some treats and just spend the rest of the day languishing in my own beautiful Victorian. Such sorrow, truly.

No such thing as too many macarons

I found a pretty cute grocery to stop in at. It actually had some sort of role play farmers market and vegetables with expiration dates. This is too much of a time commitment for moi. I am intrigued but no, just no.

Maybe? No, no no. No actual food that expires I cannot.

I ordered in Sushi, put on a movie and decided I was in for the night. The cats didn’t mind and truly, I crashed on the couch and didn’t have a care in the world. 2019 was good, and I’m not worked up about 2020. It will be fine. Every single year doesn’t have to be some groundbreaking event. Sometimes just making it happen is enough.

I did, however, wake up and move house.

Because – beachy Vic.

Gidge is 2020 In:

Earrings: (Caroline’s Jewelry) Kennedy Black Pearl Earrings
Shirt: (NO) Basic Tee – Fitmesh Slink Hourglass – Hangry
Ring: (Yummy) Diamond Solitaire Ring – Gold – Slink
Head: .LeLutkaGreer 3.4
Shoes: Bleich – Mesh Dorothy – White [F Slink Flat]
Shorts: JustBECAUSE~Kelsie Shorts~FatPack~Hourglass
Body: Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0
Hair: Tableau Vivant \ Starry Night \ Updo – [Review]
Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape GIDGE Edit 2019
Skin: -Glam Affair – Amberly II – Asia 01 E

Well We HAD a Date

Cajsa and I had a date for a fancy black tie event but then she wasn’t well. I however was already dress so I decided to do a bit of wandering. I was having a stroll down memory lane – wondering if the old Moulin Rouge was still there. It’s not. There’s a new club of the same name but it’s none the same, nothing ever is.

It did however have nice people, friendly people even. That was what I loved so much about the old one, gone now for so many years. All the fun with our friends – I wonder where they’ve all scattered to?

Gidge was ready for a Date in:

Skin: -Glam Affair – Amberly II – Asia 01 E

Ring: (Yummy) Diamond Solitaire Ring – Gold – Slink

Head: .LeLutka.Head.Greer 3.4

Earrings: Donna FloraALIENA 

Gown: Bliss Gown HOURGLASS ::VoodooMonkey::

Hair: Exile:: For the First Time

Body: Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Shoes: [Gos] Amanda Peeptoe Slingbacks – Gold [slink]

Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape GIDGE Edit  2019

At Home Again, Naturally

The Tree is up – the harpsichord is playing a lovely sarabande and I’m really settling in to my new place. It’s brand new – no one ever lived in it before me – kind of a fun idea. I lived over at Meadowbrook and I’m sure it had previous tenants – it had that noob smell. But these Victorians are fresh off the griddle. I’m liking this huge space and beautifully landscaped parks and streets.

What I’d like to see next are towns, make us a little market, a little church and a post office. Complete the narrative of these little neighborhoods with beautifully curated places for us.

What do you think should be next? Mass transit? Little villages? What would help complete the narrative of our communities for YOU?

My second night in my home finds me not sleeping on the sofa but comfy in the bed of the moment, I might have to get out something else. I’ve got too many beds, I’m not sure which one I want to use.

For now, I’m content.

Gidge is Glamorous In: 

Head: .LeLutka.Head.Greer 3.3

Skin: Pink Fuel – Anya

Robe: erratic / shae – satin robe / baroque gold (maitreya)

Hair: Exile:: Hana

Body: Maitreya Mesh Body – Lara V4.1

Shoes: [Maitreya] The Secret Store – Boudoir Slippers – Coal

Shape: Juicy – Meghan Shape GIDGE Edit  2019

Winter Wonderland

The Weather Outside is Frightful

I’m wandering around doing holiday things today. I found a sweet little sim with most of the things for sale. sure, they’re older and the prim count is higher on some of them but it’s still super fun.

I may go back and buy the carousel. I don’t know. Does this fit with my victorian themed house? I don’t wanna be THAT neighbor but still- CAROUSEL!

Have you done your holiday shopping? Are you ready? I am NOT. Don’t even have stockings up yet. I’m ridiculous. I just moved though is it even my fault? I don’t think so.

The snow was fun but the place was so laggy it just rezzed and unrezzed super fast. So fun but eh. Too much going on, too many scripts. YET – super fun.

With this…I’m off to finish unpacking my things. I hate setting up house!

Gidge is Doing Christmassy Things In: 

Jeans:::Sn@tch Cocky  Jeans (Blue):::

Skin: -Belleza- Paige Fair Gloss 8

Nails: Flair

Hair: Exile:: Amber

Shoes: Ingenue :: Amelia Boots (Hourglass) :: Scarlet

Sweater: OSMIA – Merry.Sweater – Hourglass – Red Print

Turtleneck: OSMIA – Merry.Turtleneck – Hourglass – White Striped

Body: Slink Physique Hourglass Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Head: Slink Visage Redux Ashlynn Head V 1.0.0

Pet Carrier: TuTy’s Pet carrier – scripted bag with chiwawa

Eyes: Izzie’s – Whiskey Eyes (lights) purple

Gidge Goes Victorian

My Water Feature

I was feeling a bit adventurous and rolled the dice on getting one of the new Victorian Homes. Despite the fact that this moved me away from Cajsa – their siren song was just too compelling. My first try I got a lovely spot next to this beautiful water feature.

I have no complaints.

Of course I only had to ride my bike a short way to find people immediately ruining the beautifully curated garden landscape.

I was too dumfounded to let the paving stones rez. What the hell is that? What are you doing?

I get it if you wanna have a vehicle. At least have the sense to put it behind your house.

My friend Gogolita is the decor police – I may have to join her in this endeavor. These are so well done, it’s just tragic if people can’t maintain the look really. How hard is it not to put out crap that doesn’t match?

I’m giving these guys a pass, they might be trying to decide what they like.

Have you made the jump to the Linden Victorians? This is the time – get yours now and let’s make a community! I will put some coffee on and you can come over any time! I promise!

Gidge is at Home In a Victorian: 

Jeans: Maitreya Skinny Jeans  – #01

Nails: Flair

Shirt: (NO) Off Shoulder Tee – Fitmesh – Send Nudes? – M

Camera: AMITOMO.Bon Voyage Gacha [RARE] Vintage Twin-lens reflex camera

Shoes: Blueberry – Group Gift – Shoes Slink Flat

Earrings: Cae :: Lumi :: Earring 

Hair: Magika – Luxe Box: May (Size A)

Body: Slink Physique Original Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Head: Slink Visage Redux Ashlynn Head V 1.0.0

Ears: Slink Visage Redux F Ear Augment Short Point V1.0.0

Shape: Slink Visage Shape Ashlynn 2

Skin: .::Mother Goose’s::.courney LB

Eyes: Izzie’s – Whiskey Eyes (lights) purple

New Home: Oatley Sim

Christmas Times Approach

Kicking off the week and apparently I’ve got the thing happening where a line shows up in my pics. Look my poor little shadow was decapitated by it. Sad. It’s been so long since I saw that I forget the dang solution.

I’ll remember it at some point.

I hope your week was amazing and that your Monday is tolerable.

Gidge is Ready for Monday In:

Hair: Exile:: Olivia

Clothes: Ingenue :: Aria Teddy [PHYSIQUE] :: Poinsettia

Body: Slink Physique Original Mesh Body (Redux) V4.1.0

Head: Slink Visage Redux Ashlynn Head V 1.0.0

Ears: Slink Visage Redux F Ear Augment Short Point V1.0.0

Skin: [PF] Doll <Porcelain>  – Love Donna Flora (ltbrow)

Eyes: Izzie’s – Whiskey Eyes (lights) purple