One of my favorite lines from any book is by Margaret Atwood. “I want all my hurts to be intentional.”
It’s a personal mantra. It’s two sided to me. It means I don’t want to unintentionally cause harm or sadness. Being a human person means you do in fact do that sometimes. Through your actions or decisions you might hurt another person, even someone you care about. The best you can do in that situation is apologize. You can’t always fix it, some times you can’t go back – or going back isn’t where fate is taking you. But you can be honest, and try to move forward with good intentions even if you can’t remove that thing that hurts.
Intentional hurts though are something reserved for people I am truly at odds with. It’s hard to sit here and think of an actual instance, but I’d venture that when under attack I’m not against returning fire – and returning fire in a harsh fashion. I think that’s fair too. It’d be more adult to walk away, refuse to engage. Sometimes I can be that person. But sometimes, just sometimes if I respond I know it will be with malice and spite.
I will pick the most hurtful thing to say. And it won’t be “you’re fat.” Because hell we’re ALL fat.
It’s childish of me but I will. But I have a rather strict policy that when I’m engage with someone I love, even someone I’m in a very contentious argument with – I won’t do this. If I love someone I want the end result to be that I still love them and me. I grew up in a house that didn’t fight. I don’t know how to do it. It’s probably why I part of me goes for that intentional hurt in some fights. Intentional hurts can end the fight.
But ending the fight with one you love can mean ending the conversation, forever. It ends the confidence, it ends the bonds that bind. Fighting to win is great – but win what is what you have to ask.
Pierre Choderlos de Laclos also has a great quote in Dangerous Liasons.
“When one woman strikes at the heart of another, she seldom misses, and the wound is invariably fatal.”
gidge is Wearing:
Lashes: Amacci – Eyelash Tattoo 4
Brows: flounce – Mara Brows – Light – Blonde
Lips: flounce – Sera Lips – Lace – 1
Lingerie: Seldom Blue8. HANNAH – SLINK PHYSIQUE CLOTHING HUD
Hair: Magika [Hair] Listen
Feet: Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet Mid Left V2.0
Slink Avatar Enhancement Feet Mid Right V2.0
Hands: Slink Avatar Enhancement Hands V2 – L – Casual
Slink Avatar Enhancement Hands V2 – R – Casual
Body: Slink Physique Mesh Body V2.3.1
Skin: flounce – Sera – Lace – 4
Eyes: IKON Perspective Eyes – Dusk (M)
Bed: Apple Fall – Dream