One week ago, a friend of mine in RL sent me and four other people a text message. After he hit send, he put a bullet in his head.
I’ve been getting up every day and I’ve been blogging and I’ve been doing things. I’m supposed to do things so I’ve been doing them.
What I have wanted to do is nothing. Stare into space. Look at nothing, think nothing. Conversely I’ve wanted to do everything and soak up every piece of life I can. I’ve been stunned into a numb place with intermissions of grief and rage. It’s not the best possible place to be.
People will leave you for all sorts of reasons, many of them shitty. I’ve had people say some cold hearted, rotten stuff. Words like “You are no longer welcome in my life” have been thrown out by people who were supposed to be my closest friend and ally. But words you know, are meaningless. Words can be mended. Words can be apologized for, and words after all, shift like the sands. Loyalties today are tomorrow’s forgotten promises.
Bullets are not temporary like words. When a person leaves via bullet, they intend to stay gone, regardless of your protestation.
So what does a RL girl do with her pixel girl as she sifts through a minefield of emotion of memories? She has some toast. Because her pixel girl loves toast.
My hair is poking through my top. When you are mesh from the neck down, sometimes stuff pokes into one another. I think it’s ok. It also moves out when I change position so it’s not the worst thing.
For now, I’m trying to put myself back together mentally while swimming in a sea of people who want to know if I’m alright. I’m about three seconds away from a M’Lynn moment where I start screaming “I’m ALRIGHT”. I shall try not to do that at the grave.
I want to thank all of the people in SL who know me both well and casually who have been supportive and not actually annoying at all during this hard week. You guys have helped me get up every day and keep moving, whether or not you know it.
Never underestimate the power you have over other people.
I had one more picture. But I forgot to turn on antialiasing. AWESOME. Moving on…
Gidge Is Wearing:
Lashes: Amacci – Eyelash Tattoo 6
Hair: *Alice Project* Summertime Sadness [S] – Basics
Shorts:Fission: Denim shorts-Pink (S)
Top: Fission: Ruffled Star Top-Cyan (S)
Feet: Slink Mesh Feet (Av Enhance) Medium XS
Hands: Slink Mesh Hands (av) Casual XS Left
Slink Mesh Hands (av) Casual XS Right
Body: Slink Physique Mesh Figure V1
Shoe: [LVLE] Debbi Wedge – Pink
Lingerie: Adam N Eve for SLINK PHYSIQUE MESH BODY
Shape: Gidge ~Savoir Faire Shapes~
Skin: [PXL] GAIA NAT NE LEB C1
Eyes:IKON Eternal Eyes – Periwinkle (S)
Tub: PILO – The Arcade
Kitchen: Convair NEW
Shake Blender: What Next
Chaise: Cheeky Pea
Shelf: Cheeky Pea Group Gift
Mason Jar Light: Alouette